Faux Orwell Writing Contest

George Orwell's centenary is this Wednesday. It should come as no surprise to people in the know that I'm something of an Orwell buff. I was quite delighted to stumble this morning across the Faux Orwell Writing Contest.

This year's competition closed on June 1, and results are due any day now. But I commend to you the winner of last year's competion, "The perils of rejecting tobacco," by Nigel Nichols of Luton, Beds., UK:

Even at the peak of the rush hour you can almost always find a seat in the smoking carriage of a train. The air may be a little thicker, the coughing may be a little louder or more frequent and the skin of one's fellow passengers rather more pallid, but it is, at least, a seat. You can then settle back for half an hour or so and read a pocket-novel or simply watch the green fields and terraced houses go by.