Your claim is that Alex Tourk, by resigning as Newsom's campaign manager, wronged Newsom and Tourk's wife more than they wronged him by cheating on him?

How could Newsom be said to be cheating on anyone? Assuming that the Tourk's relationship was monogamous, nevertheless the agreement of monogamy was an agreement between Tourk and Rippey-Tourk, to which Newsom was not a party.

Fundamentally, Rippey-Tourk's presumed breaking of her marriage vows is a private matter between her and Tourk. It's a breach within their relationship, and the remedy is, or ought to be, for the two of them to work together to heal the breach — or to end the relationship. Rippey-Tourk told her husband as part of her substance-abuse recovery process, the part the 12-Step people call "making amends." For Tourk to fly off the handle like that speaks rather poorly for the quality of his engagement with her recovery process.

One thing you probably ought to know about me and my take on the issue is my attitude towards monogamy: I Guess Your Kink Is OK, But...."

Part of having a friendship (which I assume was the case - most of the time "campaign manager" isn't so much of "just a job" as many other jobs are) is not willfully engaging in behavior that you know will hurt the other person. Based on Tourk's reaction, I can't imagine that Newsom just thought that he would be fine with it. So there's a breach in Tourk-Newsom's relationship too.

Just because *you* don't make monogamous agreements doesn't exempt you from caring about the monogamous agreements of your friends and the effects of your actions in light of those agreements.

Now if Newsom and Tourk weren't friends (which I've assumed throughout because of Tourk's job), then meh, it's just a mild thing. And Tourk could certainly deal with things better. But calling him "the real bad guy" seems a little over the top to me.

Part of having a friendship (which I assume was the case - most of the time "campaign manager" isn't so much of "just a job" as many other jobs are) is not willfully engaging in behavior that you know will hurt the other person. Based on Tourk's reaction, I can't imagine that Newsom just thought that he would be fine with it. So there's a breach in Tourk-Newsom's relationship too.

Just because *you* don't make monogamous agreements doesn't exempt you from caring about the monogamous agreements of your friends and the effects of your actions in light of those agreements.

Now if Newsom and Tourk weren't friends (which I've assumed throughout because of Tourk's job), then meh, it's just a mild thing. And Tourk could certainly deal with things better. But calling him "the real bad guy" seems a little over the top to me.

Blaming Tourk is sad. The real and only blame falls on Newsom and Rippey-Tourk pure and simple. Tourk going off emotionally while he tendered his resignation is not the issue. I can't fathom how anyone could justify that. Newsom was the one who cheated on a friend, violated the sanctity of another's marriage, and possibly violated city ethic laws. You can't cut it any other way unless you have some underlying philosophical or political motive you want to profess. Newsom and Tourk's wife have to live with what they have sowed; and Tourk has to as well since he is now unemployed. Newsom is a scumbag if he was a conservative or a liberal, mayor or plain old citizen. He's a scumbag like all others who cheat on their spouses or with someone elses' spouse, and I would divorce my wife (drunk or not) if she let another man pound her. What are you people thinking??

I'm not as anti-monogamy as you are; I just choose not to practice it. So by my lights, the monogamy kink is completely OK, and I would have to know what his agreements with Rippey-Tourk were to know who broke what. I'd have to say that sleeping with a married person who has a monogamous arrangement, if not cheating, is accessory-to-cheating. Personally, I certainly want to know what deals the people I'm considering as lovers have with other partners, spouses or not, and I have no interest in sleeping with a cheater.