Kathy Sierra Death Threats: Silence Gives Consent

BlogHer's Linda Stone suggests that the right way to deal with creeps like the one harassing Kathy Sierra is to ignore them. She's wrong.

A vast storm of commentary has erupted around Kathy Sierra's pulling out of ETech because of misogynistic threats of sexual violence and murder directed towards her. Many people are shocked that such a thing could happen at all. Many people say that what Sierra is doing is giving in to the bullies. Not a few of the A-listers are cautioning against a rush to judgment, because after all it is their friends and drinking buddies who, in starting MeanKids and Bob's Yer Uncle, gave misogyny, racism, and hatred a garden to grow in.

Linda Stone, co-founder of BlogHer, reminds us that this is what every woman who appears publicly on the Internet is exposed to:

The hate speech aimed at Kathy makes me sick. I am appalled by her experience and moved by her post. And I am sorry to confirm what many women online already know: Kathy Sierra is, literally, one among countless women assaulted like this online. I have no idea how many women have emailed and telephoned me about attacks via IM, IRC chat, message boards, email and blog comments. These attacks use language that describes detailed rape, dismemberment, profanity and indescribably sick images. The goal? Abuse and humiliation of women.

These assaults are happening to women blogging in every corner of the Internet -- food bloggers, political bloggers, feminist bloggers, tech bloggers, entertainment bloggers and -- perhaps especially -- mommybloggers. The only predictor I have observed is that the more famous the blogger (and/or blogger's spouse), the more lesbian, and/or the more not-white, the more vicious her attackers. Denise knows the score.

But Stone goes on to link to an earlier post, giving her advice on how to deal with Internet trolls:

Sometimes people are mean in this virtual Web world. Really mean.

And it's my opinion that there's only one solution: Ignore them.

That's the most powerful thing you can do.

Yes, trolls feed on attention, and yes, ignoring them denies what they feed on. And yes, the people who posted the hateful comments and images on MeanKids and Bob's Yer Uncle are nothing but hypertrophied trolls.

At the same time, if all you do is ignore a troll, then no one else knows about the trolling.

The men who don't troll can then comfortably assume that because it would never occur to them personally to post anonymous sexualized threatening comments or photoshop a picture to look like a BDSM scene, that therefore that stuff doesn't go on regularly. When a woman breaks the silence once in a while, they can profess outrage at what some lone sicko has done in an isolated case, and never have to even consider the possibility that there is a widespread pattern of anonymous abuse.

Whether or not Kathy Sierra is a coward for "giving in" and canceling her speaking engagements, she is a hero for speaking out, for reminding us of what is going on all the time.

(Hat tip to Chris Clarke)