Got It in One!

In Baghdad Burning last Friday, we find a quote from Paul Bremer, the US satrap in Iraq, that surfaced on the BBC:

“[Iraq] is not a country in chaos and Baghdad is not a city in chaos.”

Where is this guy living? asks Riverbend, the blog's author. Is he even in the same time zone???

In fact he's not. Paul Bremer, the man charged with restoring order and democracy to Iraq, is on vacation in Vermont.

Boubli's Big Laydown

There's a discussion on Mason Kong's LiveJournal about a hand played last month at the Grand Prix de Paris, the first event of the second World Poker Tour, being held at the Aviation Club de France.

Mike Sexton's column in Card Player describes the play of the hand, a confrontation between Howard Lederer and Jan Boubli. Boubli had pocket kings; and (so he tells us) Lederer had aces. Read Sexton's column to find out what happened.

Then go to Mason Kong's LiveJournal to read the discussion.

Fox to Franken: Lalalalalala.... I Can't Hear You!

The Washington Post

Fox News Drops Lawsuit Against Al Franken

NEW YORK - Fox News dropped its lawsuit against Al Franken on Monday, three days after a federal judge refused to block the liberal humorist from using the Fox slogan "Fair and Balanced" on the cover of his latest book. ...

"It's time to return Al Franken to the obscurity that he's normally accustomed to," Fox News spokeswoman Irena Steffen said.

#1 bestseller on Amazon.com. That's obscurity.

(via Making Light)

Poker on CNBC

So I dropped into the Oaks Club this afternoon, and got a seat in the must-move $15-$30 hold'em game. Sweet game; I booked a tidy win — but that's not what I'm writing about.

One of the TV monitors in the cardroom was tuned to CNBC, with the financial reporting, the stock ticker crawl across the bottom of the screen, the whole nine yards.*

I looked up from the game to the monitor at one point, and noticed that it was showing another poker game, in a public cardroom. Had the channel been changed to ESPN2, with its coverage of the World Series of Poker? No; it was still CNBC, with the stock ticker crawl across the bottom. And the chips the players were using looked familiar ... they were the $1 chips at Bay 101, in San Jose. The words "Prop Player" showed on the screen briefly.

Why in heaven's name would CNBC spend airtime on a $3-$6 hold'em game at Bay 101?

I glanced up every now and then. Some of the time the screen showed the play of the game, and sometimes it showed two people talking in a lounge setting: a dark-haired younger woman whose ethnicity didn't register with me, and a slender white man, looking fiftyish in age.

The segment finished with the woman at a desk in the CNBC studio. A logo above the ticker crawl showed the words "You get PAID to do THAT?" I infer that it's a regular feature about peculiar jobs, and that the peculiar job in question was prop player at Bay 101.

I didn't recognize the guy. Anyone know him?

(*) Once upon a time I took offense at the idea that investing in the stock market was a form of gambling. Then I took up cardroom poker, and discovered quite how many gamblers cared about the financial markets in the same way they cared about sports. On a weekday in an American poker room, you'll always find a TV monitor showing CNBC

I rather think that the Las Vegas casino-resorts that make branded partnerships (such as California Pizza Kitchen at the Mirage, or Krispy Kreme doughnuts at the Excalibur) are missing a bet: there should be a branch offics of a brokerage in the casino — Schwab, say, or eTrade — right next to the poker room and the sports book.

Addendum: Patrick Milligan informs me that the segment featured Michelle Caruso-Cabrera interviewing Chuck Thompson. It was first broadcast on CNBC's Power Lunch yesterday and evidently rebroadcast after markets closed.

Judge to Fox: Drop Dead

From the Associated Press:

Judge denies Fox News attempt to block Franken book over title 'fair and balanced'

A federal judge on Friday denied Fox News Channel's request for an injunction to block humorist Al Franken's new book, whose title mocks the Fox slogan "fair and balanced."

U.S. District Judge Denny Chin said the book — Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right — is a parody protected by the First Amendment.

"There are hard cases and there are easy cases," the judge said. "This is an easy case. This case is wholly without merit, both factually and legally." [emphasis added]...

"In addition to thanking my own lawyers," Franken said, "I'd like to thank Fox's lawyers for filing one of the stupidest briefs I've ever seen in my life."

The ruling opened the door for lawyers for Penguin and Franken to file a motion to dismiss the suit altogether. In addition to denying the injunction, the judge took direct aim at Fox for bringing the case.

"It is ironic that a media company, which should be protecting the First Amendment, is seeking to undermine it," Chin said.

The judge also said the "Fair and Balanced" trademark itself is weak, considering those words are used so frequently "in the context of the public marketplace."

(via Making Light)

On the Internet, No One Knows You're Not a Cat

"I have to remark," says D. Potter, surfing the net from our livingroom sofa, "on the number of people whose LiveJournal personae are cats."

Feinstein's Mask Slips

Yesterday, Dianne Feinstein announced that she would not vote for Cruz Bustamante in California's October 7 gubernatorial recall election.

A real Democrat would urge voters to vote in such a way that maximizes the likelihood of California's governor after the election remaining a Democrat, i.e. no on the recall, yes on Bustamante.

I've wondered for years why Feinstein is a registered Democrat. Her voting record makes it clear that she would much happier as a liberal Republican under the Pete Wilson/Richard Riordan model. The only faction of the Democratic Party with whom she appears to be congruent are the other Republicans-in-Democratic-clothing like Joe Lieberman and the DLC.

If Feinstein wants a Republican to win the recall, she should change parties and have done with it. If she does, she would surely get her pick of choice committee assignments from the Senate's majority party. Wouldn't that be a better way of serving her constituents, or at least the portion of her constituents whom she actually serves?

Governor Sméagol?

At last! A candidate in the California gubernatorial free-for-all whom we can all get behind has thrown his hat into the, errr, ring.

(via TalkLeft and Skippy)

Bloomberg Struck Out Looking

Like many other people, Greg Costikyan has put a first-person account of his experience of the blackout on his blog. He includes the following account of Michael Bloomberg being interviewed on how the city handled the crisis.

I listen to our clueless mayor flubbing two set up questions from journalists, viz:

JOURNALIST 1: How would you say our municipal employees have responded to the current crisis?

RIGHT ANSWER: By god, these brave men and women have more than risen to the occasion, and I'm proud beyond words, etc., etc., etc.

ACTUAL ANSWER (was something like): Well, they did their jobs, and when they were called upon, they were there for the citizens of this city, etc., etc.

JOURNALIST 2: In the dead of the night, with the darkened city looming above you, what thoughts went through your head? Did there seem a sense to you that the world is different from how we normally perceive it?

RIGHT ANSWER: Well... Yes... I see what you mean... I remember looking up at the Emprie State Building and realiznig how extraordinary this all is, and how strange it is that we depend so much on electrical power for our day to day existence— But you have to understand that I've also been very busy for the last 24 hours trying to get thigns back to normal, and trying to ensure that our city does not suffer from this extraordinary hiatus in its normal life.... (etc., etc.)

ACTUAL ANSWER (was something like): Well, I was talking to someone.... And I said... We all have to get a grip. Just deal with it. There's nothing extraordinary. Thank God so few people died. Let's just focus on the mundane day to day, and there's no point in even attempting to acknowledge that something pretty weird happened here, or even that there was a positive side.

My basic takeaway from all of this is that Bloomberg is exactly the kind of down-to-earth technocrat that I want running my city, and will without question vote for him in the next election—but that I also question his sanity, at least when it comes to attracting votes. Both of those questions were gentle lobs, letting him slam-dunk them in a way guaranteed to play with the voters; the first, letting him praise our municipal workers, as they deserve to be be praised, and let everyone in the city feel happy about the emergency response. The second, letting him wax poetic for a moment, and let us all feel that yes, it's true, he really does love this city in a way beyond reason, as we all do—but doesn't let that distract him from his plain and certain duty.

Instead "They did their duty" and "Poetry escapes me."

Dweeb.

Bloomberg got the job done, but he flubbed the spin. I actually find something reassuring and refreshing about this.

Fairness and Balance

Atrios tells us that googling for "fair and balanced" is good for a laugh.

So I tried it, and he's right. I turned up a long list of blog pages. Leading the list, though, was a link to Fox News, and by happenstance, at the moment I looked, the Fox News link was to this column by John Gibson, dated November 22, 2002. Gibson is responding to his readers, who are in turn responding to his contention that the return of the Fairness Doctrine to broadcasting would be a bad thing.

So a bunch of you said, "Well, why would you complain about the Fairness Doctrine if you say you're fair and balanced? Hmmmm?"

Here's your answer, smart guys. We are fair and balanced. Just look at our lineup of guests, packed with Democrats, former Gore staffers, former Clinton administration officials, former Carter officials. That, coupled with putting on the other side and letting the debate rage, is what we call fair and balanced.

The Fairness Doctrine was actually a lie. It wasn't fair. It was a way for a sly broadcaster to tip the scales in a political debate by pretending to be purely neutral, while booking an articulate, persuasive guest on his side, and a clunker dud of a guest on the other. And the host or anchor was loath to express any opinion for fear of the FCC threatening to yank the station's license. [emphasis added]

It's a classic case of projection — of attributing to one's unspeakably evil enemies the ends, and the means used to gain them, that one does not want to admit one has and uses onesself. (Another example: the Republican commentators, during the Florida vote-counting crisis, who accused the Gore campaign of using the courts to overturn the electoral process.)

You're right, Atrios: finding this was a real hoot.

Public Outrage Kills Bush Plan for Troop Pay Cut

The San Francisco Chronicle reports that, faced with universal condemnation, the Bush Administration has dropped its plans to cut the pay of soldiers fighting in Iraq.

Usage Bugaboo

Josh Marshall on Bush's pay cut for soldiers in Iraq: This, quite literally, takes the cake. The Pentagon and the White House are pushing to cut the pay of American troops serving in Iraq. [emphasis added]

"Literally" does not intensify the use of a metaphor; it implies that an expression that is usually used metaphorically is in a particular instance literally true rather than metaphorically true.

It would be literally taking the cake if the MREs that US troops were served in Iraq hitherto included a piece of cake for dessert, but that from now on, as a cost-cutting move, they would have instead an Oreo cookie.

(This criticism of a non-Republican blogger is brought my my intent to bring the standards of fairness and balance set by Fox News to As I Please.)

Bush Plans to Cut Iraq Soldiers' Pay

The San Francisco Chronicle reports that the Bush administration is planning on cutting the pay of US troops in Iraq and Afghanistan by $225 per month — $75 per month in "iminent danger pay" and a $150-per-month family separation allowance.

60 American soldiers have been killed in combat in Iraq since President Bush declared on May 1 that combat in Iraq had ended.

Is the pay cut a punishment for soldiers' failure to achieve their objectives? Josh Marshall has found an intriguing item in the Gulf Daily News (published in Bahrain) reporting that Deputy Secretary of State Richard Armitage, addressing the Asia Society in Sydney, Australia, declared that US troops would not leave Iraq until weapons of mass destruction were found.

This places additional pressure on homesick troops, who have had their return home delayed multiple times, to finds something — anything! — that might be considered an Iraqi weapon of mass destruction.

Game Show Governor

Ananova reports:

US network to make governor game show

A US television network is to make a game show out of the race for governor of California. The Game Show Network will pick five of the 193 candidates registered to challenge current governor Gray Davis.

They'll then broadcast Who Wants To Be Governor of California? on 1 October, says the BBC Online.

The contestants will battle it out in challenges that may include an obstacle course where they have to dodge lobbyists with briefcases of money.

The winner will be chosen by an online viewers' vote, and will receive $21,200 (about £13,000) towards their campaign funds.

Network president Rich Cronin said: "We'll have podiums and buzzers and bells, but there won't be any long speeches. There will be policy questions and issue questions - things that showcase what the contestants can do."

via Stonerwitch

D. Potter Safe With Us

We didn't have to resort to our fallback — a brace of lawyers serving a writ of habeas corpus — to get D. Potter sprung from Kaiser Permanente's Oakland Medical Center yesterday, but there were moments when it seemed as if Debbie Notkin and I might need to do so.

All's well that ends well, though, and D. is now safely ensconced in the Spicejar.Org International World Headquarters, on the top floor of our gleaming chrome and steel skyscraper, just below the zeppelin mooring mast.

She's wearing a cast that runs from her left wrist to just below her shoulder. Six weeks' recovery time, say the doctors. Wish her well.

Fair and Balanced

Friday, August 15, is Fair and Balanced Friday on the Internet!

Quoth Neal Pollack:

The Fox News Channel has sued political satirist Al Franken to stop him from using the words "fair and balanced" in the title of his new book, scheduled to publish next month. The suit claims that the subtitle is "likely to cause confusion among the public about whether Fox News has authorized or endorsed the book and about whether Franken is affiliated with FNC." Good lord. Who among the five, possibly ten percent of the American people who could recognize Franken in a lineup would think that he's affiliated with the Fox News Channel? The man stands politically to the left of every major entertainment figure except Michael Moore and maybe Janeane Garofalo.

Atrios is a co-sponsor of Fair and Balanced Friday.

Nobody knows what the Fox News Channel's legal department was smoking prior to filing this bizarre lawsuit. In the comments on Making Light Mike Koslowski provides a link to an interview with Franken on Buzzflash in which Franken describes how rabidly Bill O'Reilly frothed when confronted on the air on a C-SPAN book-chat program about O'Reilly's lying claim that Inside Edition won two Peabody Awards. The speculation is that this lawsuit is a reflection of a vendatta of O'Reilly's against Franken.

In that same comment section, publishing lawyer C.E. Petit observes another sign of the strength of the Fox legal department's pipeweed:

Actually, Fox made a much, much bigger error in not waiting until 23 September to file suit. On 23 September, the mark will have been registered for five years, giving it "incontestable" status. Since they filed suit before that date, however, Penguin gets to attack the basis for even registering "fair and balanced" (in whatever symbology; the difference between and ampersand and "and" means very little). Sure, that would mean that the book is on the shelves, but it is still close enough in the future that it would be appropriate diligence in defending the mark.

Whether the use of the phrase "fair and balanced," a term of art in journalism and journalistic education, in the title Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right infringes on Fox News Channel's trademark is up to the court. Fox's, lawyers will report to the courtroom; a fair and balanced judge will decide.

@#$%&* %$#@!

D. Potter tripped and broke her left elbow yesterday morning. She spent the day in Kaiser Hospital's emergency room, and had surgery on that elbow last night. She's still in the hospital today. When Debbie Notkin called the nurses' station on her floor, they told her that D. would very likely stay one more night in the hospital.

When D. is released, Debbie and I will be taking her in, at least for a few days. D.'s friends are welcome to send cards or flowers here, or call her here. (If you need the address and/or phone number, email me or leave a response here.)

(Meanwhile, today is my last day on crutches for my own broken toe. I've had essentially no pain since last Sunday night, and it has been difficult to force myself to take the crutches seriously. They have been a big enough nuisance that I've been tempted to throw them aside many times.)

%$#@!

So I was a bit clumsy. When walking from the living room into my bedroom, yesterday afternoon, I accidentally kicked the bookcase right beside the door and snagged my left little toe upon it. I cursed, held my foot, and jumped up and down a couple of times, just like a caricature of someone who has stubbed their toe.

Then I looked down at my foot and saw that little toe sticking out to the side at an angle it really shouldn't. Whoops. Ouch.

I spent the afternoon and early evening in the emergency room at Kaiser Permanente, waiting to have my foot X-rayed and to have a physician strap the poor toe to its neighbor. The toe has a fracture, and I am to go about on crutches until a podiatrist gives me the go-ahead to walk normally again.

My foot hurt like the dickens all afternoon and into the evening. Today, though, there is almost no pain at all. Now I'm waiting to hear from the podiatrist's office, to find out when I can be seen.